What was my goal?

To discover more about being a cartographer and being a sonar radar. In which situations am I a sonar radar and in which situations am I a cartographer.

And to discover more about the All-sphere, how it is effecting my being present.

Where am I with this goal right now?

I am still learning, and I discovered that at the moment(s) I say: ‘Wow’, because I like something very much or because I am impressed, I am not present (at that moment). So I am more attentive about my words and the words of others.

What have I tried and what felt like some success this week?

I am thinking about this part, still sensing and observing the ‘cartographer’ and the ‘sonor radar’.

What is the challenge I still encounter?

To train and develop my patience, while I believe I am a patient person. Because I think that zooming in and out as a sonar radar also is about taking time to watch at things from different perspectives instead of jumping to conclusions.

What is one thing that anyone in the community can do to support your explorations – learnings – discoveries?

Ask me questions about my behaviour in the group. And give me feedback about my behaviour so that my awareness about being present can expand.

One of my experiences (3th of March):

Last week I saw a female client. She is mourning because of the loss of her husband. And she came to me to learn to manage herself and to build up resilience. We missed a session because of her being ill with covid. We started reflecting on how she had felt and she told me that it was very heavy. For a while she reflected about how her being ill effected her mourning. And how the children help’s her out, not by being fysically present, at her home, but by just being their own selves. She looked calm and happy with the situation while sharing.

I thought I was fully present by parafrasing, asking questions and sensing. After she finished sharing her feelings I asked her again what she needed today. ‘What had to be said and done today?’. And she answered me: (exactly) this is what was needed to be told at this moment.

I felt as if I had missed something, at that moment. And I asked myself ‘how present I was at that moment’. Had I been a cartographer who likes to check and double check? And why did I had to ask this question while she looked sereen and satisfied? Was I the one who was not satisfied? Why did I miss her needs? Was I present as a sonar radar could be?

And I think it had something to do with the All-sphere and my thoughts and training about ‘good’ coaching. I would like to learn more about what happened.